It’s Jenny here, sharing Joyful Living tips for self-connection!
There are a lot of people out there who do not feel at all connected to themselves or others. No matter how hard they try, they just cannot see results. Some, sadly, even give up on having any connection!
Do you feel like you don’t fit in at certain times, or on certain occasions? Do places such as your workplace, social events, life in your local community, or even interaction with your own family, leave you feeling disconnected?
What’s going on behind this disconnection; what blocks us from connecting?
Ask yourself these vulnerability test questions:
- “What is the self-talk in my mind regarding myself?”
- “Who do I really see when looking in the mirror?”
Do You Hear HONEST answers (real self-talk):
“I don’t look good (confident, smart, young, old…) enough.”
“I am not a likable person; I don’t even like myself.”
“I feel (afraid, sad, poor, angry, shameful, powerless… ), but I don’t like feeling that way.”
“I don’t like other people to see me and know that I feel this way; I feel ashamed to be seen as a weak loser .”
“I guess I am not worthy of being accepted; I have never been accepted during my whole life.”
For most of us, it’s too vulnerable to be known, to be seen by others while we have these fears, shame, and all kinds of negative feelings about ourselves and our life situation. We hide, pretend, or freeze, and even deny our feelings. We either put a happy mask on our face or just freeze and escape; disconnecting completely from others. That way at least we won’t get hurt; we won’t feel the pain. Also for some, the lack of vulnerability has come from childhood trauma or earlier life events. In this situation, there is a lack of connection without the person even being aware of the lack.
When we hide, pretend, freeze, or escape, we present only part of ourselves to the world (and to ourselves). People can only see and connect with this little part of us; we can’t fully self-connect either. We’ve lost the authenticity and integrity of who we really are.
Complete Self Connection is the Result of Authenticity
Authenticity embraces vulnerability, which is our human nature. If we do not allow vulnerability, we exclude ALL feelings, both POSITIVE, and NEGATIVE. If we suppress, freeze or escape from fear, shame, sadness or whatever uncomfortable feelings we have, we can’t experience love, peace, courage, joy and other good feelings either.
In being authentic, we can freely be ourselves; not needing to do anything or make any special effort. Authenticity results in being vulnerable as a human being; presenting our imperfect selves, feeling real feelings, accepting ourselves unconditionally, and living a real life. By being authentic, we can then have compassion for both ourselves and others.
When we can connect with ourselves fully and throw our true self to the world, we can be fully seen, accepted and connect to others too.
When we fully connect, we freely feel, taste, hear, smell, and touch. We experience life FULLY (even though it might be uncomfortable at times, and we might get hurt, fall or fail).
It takes courage for us to be real; to be authentic and vulnerable, and to be seen. But that’s the only way to have the connection happen, and to truly live your life.
Joy begins with self-connection and connection begins by fully embracing vulnerability.
If you don’t feel connected today, what is blocking you? Are there any early events, old wounds still triggering or bothering you, preventing you from fully connecting with life?
The following symptoms could be a reminder that inner blocks are still there:
- butterflies in the stomach
- difficulty breathing
- chest tightness
- throat constriction
It’s time now to let go, to heal our emotional wounds; time to be real and vulnerable. Let’s welcome vulnerability into our life; not exclude it. Let’s enjoy being fully connected with ourselves and with others!
Thank you for your continuous feedback and communication with me. It greatly helps and inspires me to serve you better. Click here to contact me.
A joyful day! And till next time,
Jenny Li Ciccone
